The One With…Well…Not A Boyfriend

It’s about to begin. It’s closing in, and we’re all about to be drowned under the 189 million roses that will be purchased over Valentine’s Day. Actually, it’s not that bad. I can appreciate a holiday that seems to breed extreme levels of mushiness purely for the entertainment factor. Pointing and laughing is very appropriate under these circumstances I believe.

Fun factor aside, some people really struggle over Valentine’s when they are single. Personally I find that other things hit the ‘woe is me’ button harder, like seeing the full moon. Or being in a crowd and noticing all the couples and feeling utterly alone, despite having a group of also single people around me.


I think all us single gals have our own ‘trigger moments’ where a jolt of… something hits us and we realise that there is a gaping, husband-shaped hole in our lives. It leaves us aching and wishing that whatever future guy that God has planned could please just get here already?! Cause I’m ready! And waiting!! Hit me with it!

That, dear single-ites, is discontentment, the restless desire or craving for something you do not have.

And before you cry out ‘but I am content!’ just let me add that there is a difference between saying you’re content and actually, genuinely being happy with where you are right now in life. In the quiet moments, when no one else is around, are you happy? Do you look around and smile, even if your life is nothing like you thought it would be? Or do you frown, wishing that your furniture was newer, your house bigger, your job better?

You have a choice between sitting and just waiting for that perfect someone to come along so your life can begin…and being proactive about learning and creating habits that you will take with you when or if you do meet someone. If you don’t actively make good habits of joy and contentment despite what’s happening around you, bad habits of being dissatisfied will sneak in and take hold. And it is a lot easier to make good habits to begin with than try to break the bad habits you already have!


No, I am not speaking from the experience of being in a relationship. But I am speaking from the experience of not being with someone, of not having the life I thought I would have and yet still being happy. Contentment is a lesson hard won, and on going. I’m not saying that you will never have moments of wishing for something different, because they will happen. But don’t wallow in them!

Move on, and look around.

Enjoy the scenery.

Celebrate your life.

And smile.



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